Petals in the Summer Wind
by Jessaminebell
Summary: A small fanfiction of the pairing RusBel. Their thoughts and feelings seeming small to the petals drifting in the summer wind.


Do you remember the time, big brother? Do you remember when we would sit in that field, staring to the petals as they danced through the sky? The times when we would both laugh, and live in the moment instead of constantly praying for a tomorrow when we would see each other? I remember that time so well, but I'm beginning to doubt that you do. We're growing so distant, aren't we? Almost laughable. While our borders aren't stretching or shrinking, our minds seem to be. It's sad to think I dread the time when you no longer can place those memories.  
I truly do.

We were forced to part not long ago, yet it seems like forever. I was told to leave, no true explanation for the action, only that it would be for the best. The best for who exactly? How would such an action benefit my people? Was it for money? To become a nation of our own so that you could not prey on us? My own brother take advantage of his sister? Hard to believe they would think that.  
Nonetheless, I packed my bags with my older sister, heading out the door. How you begged and pleaded, trying to keep your sisters from leaving you all alone in such a huge home, yet we were to remain quiet. It was all we could do to stop us from crying, from saying, "Yes, We had never wanted to leave, brother! Let us remain together forever!"  
As I stared to the house upon closing the door, I could feel the tears. They ran down my cheeks, dropping to the ground with nay a sound. I tried to make them stop, big brother, even dropping my bags to hold them in, to keep strong for you, but I couldn't. I found myself sobbing, crying out to stay with my big brother Ivan. I had no strength, and dropped to the ground.  
Did I hear the door start to open? Was I taken away before you could arrive? Did you end up coming for your little sister Belarus? I'd like to think you did, but you didn't, and we left without opening our mouths to say goodbye. I often regret not yelling out, especially on the nights when I miss you the most. I'd just like to say, I'm sorry. I truly am sorry.

And, now, that we're together again... You knocking on my door without a phone call, without a hello or notice of visit. I can feel the tears again. They're coming, and I cry, no strength in my knees. I crumble to the ground, your gentle smile increasing the intensity of my sobbing.  
"I'm... Back.." You say, shrugging with uncertainty. My big brother kneels down next to me, extending a bouquet of flowers.  
"I'm sorry you left, it was my fault." I don't even care, and swatting the flowers away, I can feel a great anger inside. Not an anger for him, but for myself.  
I made brother sad by leaving, and now he's apologizing. He's apologizing to the person who was wrong the whole time.  
I dive for him, arms squeezing the fabric of his jacket. I want him to hold me like this, but how will he know if I don't tell him? How can my thoughts reach you, brother?  
Brother gently squeezes me back, his warmth transferring into me, mine into him.  
"I told them to make you leave. I thought that you should no longer rely on me, try to fend for yourself. How was I to know it would end this badly? How was I to know you would miss me so much?" He pauses, blushing slightly.  
"How was I to know I would miss you so?"  
Your words both calm and burn me, brother. I hurt you like this, made you so sad for me, and yet, this act was yours alone. You had done this to us with the best intentions. How do I react? What could I say? I sniff again, tears nearly creating an ocean to the floor.  
Why won't the tears stop, brother? Even with you near me, your cold hands and warm breath, I can still feel the distance. Is there any way to close it? Any way to do it? Please, god, tell me. Anything to make this pain in my chest stop.  
"Why are you still crying, sister? I am here with you, it will be fine." You ask in a happy voice, no hint of anger or contempt. No signs of sadness or sorrow, unlike myself.  
I cannot tell you, for I don't know myself. I can barely see, these wet beings blinding me.  
You pull away, gentle smile still the same. That grin, the one I treasure so dearly. So irreplaceable.  
Without a word, you seem to know, our thoughts connecting for a mere second. My wish, deepest secret to myself shining through my mask.  
You pull your face close to mine, warm lips touching each other with such sensitivity. My tears instantly stop, the shock of such an act halting them. My eyes close, ushering out any tears left to the ducts. It lasts for several seconds, your face red when you drop your hand from my cheek. My big brother Ivan is embarrassed, looking away from my spot.  
"You stopped crying..." A small phrase that makes my heart pound even faster. How is it that you cannot hear it, brother? It's nearly bounding from my chest.  
"I did.." You wipe the wet trails from my face, the smile to your face growing larger.  
"No matter how far I am, little sister, I will always be there for you. Please don't cry because of me. Don't ever cry because of your big brother Ivan."  
I shake my head, sniffing for perhaps the last time. I manage to smile, hoping to reassure you at least a little.  
"I won't."

And how it is we ended up here? Is it possible? How could it be? Did you remember when I had thought you hadn't?  
They dance all around us, various mixes of petals lining the air. The dancers that will never run out of energy, or so it seems.  
We lay together in the same setting, sun high in the sky. I smile lightly, red dotting my face. You give a small one back, squeezing my hand.  
I chuckle at first, turning those small sounds into large mixes of emotion that fill the field. You look over with a rather entertained smile, asking why it is I laugh. What could I possibly find so funny?  
I never answer you, my increased grin serving as my response. I squeeze back, looking back to the sky. All my thoughts fill with happiness, a feeling I had thought I had lost completely when you had left.

After so long, you're finally back for me, big brother. I wonder, if you decide to leave me again, will I be able to handle it? The feeling that is now filling me to be taken away so mercilessly? Will I be able to keep my promise of not crying for my big brother Ivan?  
Only the petals on that summer day know, their answers dancing in the wind forevermore.


End file.
